My vocal abilities are best compared to the sound of 6 live gerbils, a few ball bearings, and a broken harmonica in a blender with the accompaniment of the Emergency Broadcast System warning sound. Yes, I’m that bad.
So, if a genie ever popped out of a bottle and granted me one wish (after strictly informing me that my wish can not be used for anything noble like curing cancer, stopping Hitler, or creating world peace); I think I would ask for just one night when I looked great and sounded even better.
This would be my set list — and I get to sound like each of these ladies for just one night.
1. Beth Hart
Beth Hart would definitely be my first choice. If you ever get the opportunity to see her live — run — don’t walk for a ticket. Unfortunately, she’s been playing almost exclusively in Europe over the past several years so it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her. She has had a tough career and a lot of personal setbacks; but she keeps on keepin’ on.
2. Storm Large
Back in 2006, John and I somehow got hooked on Rock Star: Supernova. We didn’t have a television then (nor do we still) so we often watched it online a few days after each episode aired. I would like to get all culturally superior on you and tell you that we watched “ironically” … but not only is that the improper use of the term irony; it’s just patently untrue. We actually kinda’ dug it.
Storm Large didn’t win, which didn’t end up being much of a hardship as “Supernova” as a band never really got off the ground.
3. Imelda May
Imelda’s pin-up looks and sassy growl are almost too good to be true. I sound just like her (only when I am in the car alone, so I can’t prove it … but trust me)
4. Susan Tedeschi
If Janis Joplin, Bonnie Raitt, and B.B. King had a daughter … it would be Susan Tedeschi.
5. Dana Fuchs
I can’t claim to have been aware of Dana Fuchs prior to her co-starring role in Across The Universe but I’ve been following her ever since. I haven’t seen her sing live yet, but I’m hoping to remedy that later this month when she and her band play a gig in Sellersville.
6. Tatiana DeMaria (of the band TAT)
The audio quality isn’t that great on this video but I used it because it better showcases her personality on stage. Love it — would trade her in a second.
7. Joan Jett
You have to love Joan. She walks a badass highwire over a pit of cheesiness without ever falling in.
I’m not a fan of her more pop-friendly releases; but some of her divergent live stuff (both acoustic and plugged-in) is excellent!
9. PJ Harvey
When I want to sound haunting and tortured, I want to sound like PJ
Like P!nk, I’m not much of a fan when Gretchen performs the genre that she is most famous for … but when she veers into rock, I’m hooked.