The (Not So) Helpful Guide to Packing Your Motorcycle Bag

If You Are Traveling With Me and You Need Anything Useful … I Probably Can’t Help You

My grandmother’s purse was a seemingly bottomless source of just about anything one would ever need. She had an inventory of mints, gums, candies, lozenges, first-aid supplies, books, magazines, and grooming implements that would have rivaled just about any convenience store in the nation. She had hair nets, scarves, rain bonnets, panty hose, and sunscreen. Lose your pair of glasses? She probably had your prescription (regular or polarized). I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had an assortment of high-end power tools in there.

Me? I don’t even carry a purse.

“Mr” RoadsideWonders’ father is another one. If you’re out riding with him, he probably has a spare of anything you would ever need. Break your sunglasses? He probably has a few varieties to borrow. Lose a glove? I’m sure he has a few extras (lightweight to heavy-duty) in his touring trunk. Need a tool? Metric or standard … he can probably help you out. If not, he can probably “Macgyver” something for you from the raw materials in his baggage.

I cleaned out my sissybar bag the other day when I was washing my bike. It’s so bad that even little boys with cigar boxes full of marbles, feathers, rocks, and Pokemon cards would be sure to give me a WTF-look.

Here’s A Bad Idea … I have no idea why I’m carrying around a butane curling iron inside a black leather bag that is exposed to high temperatures in the summer. I’m generally in full-on Phyllis Diller mode when I’m on the bike and this thing isn’t going to help me even if I tried.

This reminds me …
I haven’t road-tested my pair of Groucho Marx glasses yet.

Good News! If I lose a pair I have a back-up supply!

Why do I have plastic chicken in my bag? Your guess is as good as mine.

Never fear … there are 11 more where that came from in my guest room closet. Again, I have no idea why.

These “refreshing cleansing cloths” (yuck, I didn’t even like typing that) were free samples with something I bought years ago. They’ve been in my bag for at least 6 years.

Really the only useful things that I carry around in this bag are my rain gear (in the blue & black compression bag), my net bungee, and my amber night glasses.
So, what made it back into the bag? Everything except a few books, the curling iron, and the acorns. Baby steps, people, baby steps.


7 thoughts on “The (Not So) Helpful Guide to Packing Your Motorcycle Bag

  1. I cleaned mine out last year. Probably need to do it again. At one point, I had a doll leg (or arm, can’t remember for sure? ) That was during our ‘pick up road shit for Shelley as a souvenir’ phase 🙂 I have so many brochures from church folks and attorneys that it is scary. I can’t throw those away because it might jinkx me! I did get to Canada again last year and had to drive around into the office to give them about three pepper sprays. They were so freakin’ old that I had no clue if they would even work! BUT, if I had been carrying bear spray, I would have been legal

    • Yep, I found a whole bunch of business cards & flyers in one of my side pockets.

      I used to have pepper spray on my car’s keychain but I took it off because I thought I was more likely to accidentally spray myself than a bad guy 🙂

  2. first i need you to dig deep in the recesses of your brain and tell us the real reason you have so many chickens. Secondly, and I suspect goes with the first, why did the chicken make it back into your bag? Enjoyed your story .

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